Thoughts Lead to Actions
When you say to yourself: "Ugh, I'm such a fat cow right now!" you're inviting negativity into your body. I've compiled a big list of what I learned that helps, not just me, but my clients begin to change their way of thinking to feel more confident…but I'll only mention a few.
Recently Khloe Kardashian spent lots of money to comb over the internet removing a photo of herself that wasn't posed, filtered, tanned, smoothed, and its composition was less than par. Have we become that self-centered and traumatized over our insecurities?? Oh gosh, no! This is not a good thing.
I was self-centered when I thought of my insecurities. I would wake up, sit up and get a glance at my jelly belly (here I go again talking about it)and I can feel my mood changing instantly. A loathing, a despise, or maybe pure disgust at my own body. I was 30, with two babies and a massive insecurity. An insecurity so big that I couldn't stand to get naked put on a bathing suit and enjoy the beach. I wanted to hide my body. I refused to get up and run with my kids or swim. I felt, acted like everyone was not enjoying the beach, but instead staring at me. What a self-centered way to think! We would really have to be deep in our own heads if we think that everyone is concerned with us!
Clear Your Noggin
One of my most favorite ways of getting out of my head is clearing it. Write it down. I grab my notebook open up a page a vomit words in it. Just write down all those angry nasty words. Let it be sloppy and misspelled. It's not time for correct grammar. Don't read the thoughts. Close your notebook and walk away.
Before you go to bed, open up the notebook. Read those thoughts. Read them with a third-person perspective. What do you sound like? Are those statements true? Dr. Parra says "Your feelings are valid, but your reaction to those feeling may not be." I want you to write statements that you'd like to replace those thoughts with.
Thought: "I do not deserve to have anyone attracted to me. I'm gross."
Is that true? Fuck no! So I'm going to replace it with: "I a beautiful woman who brought life into this world. I'm strong and beautiful."
It didn't take too long before I began to believe my replacement thoughts, my truths. Now I believe if anyone isn't attracted to me cuz of my mommy tummy, then they're the ones with a problem. Not me.
Lean Into The Insecurity
I can also say Lean Into The Fear. We are so afraid to be seen! The day I decided that I wasn't going to hide anymore was a terrifying day. But I learned from a YouTube video I watched of Shameless Maya, that one way to get over the bullshit, was to lean into it. Go "all in" doing the thing you're terrified to do and doing it shamelessly.
I bought that two-piece, I put it on, went to the beach, and I held my head high as I took off my cover. The constant chatter to convince myself that I wasn't in any danger was exhausting, but I stuck with it. I kept telling myself: "nobody's looking, nobody cares, you're fine." And "it's all in your head, Quetsy" and "take your hand away from the front of your torso!" It was hard to feel free. But I refused to allow myself to give in to my insecurities. I did that as many times as I could until I found my freedom in my so-called flaws.
Say: "I'm Sexy!"
Listen, don't let anybody tell you that you can't. Not even you. You look good when you convince yourself that you do. When you begin to accept yourself. You feel confident when you know that you offer so much more than just your looks. Tell yourself every single day "I'm sexy! I'm confident! I'm pretty amazing!" Go get your freedom and sexiness! Your thoughts are so much more powerful than you think! Think you're hot, and you're going to be a hottie!